Hey Male Patients -
Hope your smiles are beaming. It’s me Dr. Zeidman with an important life quicktip. No matter how much you want to, do NOT masturbate with aftershave. I know what you’re thinking: But what if I run out of lube? What will I use to lube up my fleshlight? Whatever you do, do NOT use aftershave. It feels good for like three seconds then It burns horribly and then the skin on your penis cracks and falls off. My advice: stock up on lube or use hand lotion.
NOTE FOR KAYE AND SCHUSTER: Can you cover me today? I can’t come in.