I Apologize, Richard

I would like to issue a formal apology to ten-year-old patient Richard Gremsil.

Today, Richard called me fat. He said I had a ‘fat face.’ It rattled me. I can’t stop thinking about it. I acted as though it didn’t hurt, but I’ve been thinking about it all night.

However, as an adult, I realize that despite how much his comment STILL hurts me, it doesn’t justify what I said. I apologize to the Gremsil family, in particular to Richard, for telling him that he had ‘black malaria’ and that his ‘eyes were going to fall out’ before he ‘died like dinosaurs.’ Even though what Richard said was really, really, really, really, hurtful, I shouldn’t have fibbed to him, because he is a child, and apparently children can’t tell when someone is obviously being ridiculous. So, Gremsil family, if you still would like to be our patients, Mark Schuster and Marc Kaye would gladly have you back.

-Z

Happy, Schuster?

Hey Pam! Stuck in Traffic! (for my wife)

Who can say no to this?

Hi Pam,

I know you check this when I’m not home on time, so I didn’t bother to call.  I saw on sig-alert that the 110 and 710 were backed up, and I was a little too hungry to wait over a half hour to get all the way home, so I stopped off and got myself a pizza and a pitcher of beer.  Nothing like a nice pepperoni ‘za to ditch the traffic blues. Then I met a few locals and we had some more beers… they said I could crash at their place tonight, but I don’t think I’ll do that, probably have Schuster and Zeidman come pick me up in an hour or so and then we’ll go out or something. LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER MARC KAYE WEDNESDAY!

Just an FYI!  Love ya,

Hubby Marc (the K man)

Life Quicktip: Don’t Masturbate with Aftershave

Good for shaving. Not good for masturbation!

Hey Male Patients –

Hope your smiles are beaming. It’s me Dr. Zeidman with an important life quicktip. No matter how much you want to, do NOT masturbate with aftershave. I know what you’re thinking: But what if I run out of lube? What will I use to lube up my fleshlight? Whatever you do, do NOT use aftershave. It feels good for like three seconds then It burns horribly and then the skin on your penis cracks and falls off. My advice: stock up on lube or use hand lotion.

Cheers,
-Z

NOTE FOR KAYE AND SCHUSTER: Can you cover me today? I can’t come in.

New Magazines in the Lobby!

Mark Marc Mark always Mans Up!

Once again Mark Marc Mark family dentistry shows our commitment to excellence.  From our state of the art technology in the examination rooms and our magical bedside manner (and sometimes in-bed manner… ZEIDMAN!) we strive to provide the most comfortable, helpful and entertaining dental experience you could hope for.

It should come as no surprise that this includes our strategically furnished and accessorized waiting rooms.  By importing the best read and most socially poignant magazines and periodicals available, Mark Marc Mark hopes to not only make bright beautiful smiles, but also well rounded people.

Come by this week and check out our new Magazines!

Get out your toothbrush, the time has come….

For the Toothbrush race of the century (until the next one we have). If on your last visit you received a blue, red or green toothbrush, then you’ve got a horse in this race. Watch below to find out if you’ve won a prize* ( oh and kids, hold on to your socks because this little vid is going to be the ride of your lives). PLEASE TURN YOUR SPEAKERS UP TO FULL VOLUME TO ENSURE FULL ADRENALINE RUSH

This bad boy was created by ‘The Flash Master’ yours truly, Dr. Mark Zeidman. And yeah, I wrote the thrashing metal that’s making your nose bleed (in a good way).

*In order to redeem prize, please present your official MarkMarcMark (winning color) toothbrush on your next visit.

* Prize is a MarkMarcMark gift bag including an adjustable MMM hat, another toothbrush, Lunchables Pizza and a signed picture of all three of us.

In your medical opinion…

Does this rash look bad to you?

I tried getting an appointment with Dr. Feldman up on three, but he can’t see me for two weeks.

Fluoride Friday!

Fluoride Fridays! Bring your friends!

That’s right!  It’s back with a vengeance!  To coincide with the start of the new school year, Mark Marc Mark Family Dentistry is proud to reignite the flame that overtook the world of dentistry in LA county last year: FLUORIDE FRIDAY!

Come on down and get your teeth cleaned and bring a friend! Complimentary fluoride treatments and consultations for new patients and a free fluoride treatment and “quick clean” teeth cleaning for existing patients.

When? Fridays. Seriously. Every Friday until 2011.

Dental Babe of the Month

Dental Babe of the Month is where we use google to find hot pictures of dentistry-related girls who are attractive, and then bring them to you.

daddy likey

Miss September: Tammy

I found this little hardbody by google image-searching ‘dental hygienist.’  I’m ‘forbidden’ from seeing the full size image from http://www.dentalhygienistsalary.net/ where I found this pic but even in this tiny picture, you can see how symmetrical she is.  Also, I don’t know if her name is Tammy, but we just fill in the blanks with our imagination!

Tammy likes beach volleyball and is also an avid blogger (possibly this one?).  She’s 19 and when she’s not assisting dentists, she attends Arizona State University, where  she majors in modeling.

Note for Pam

Sorry it's dead!

THE FOLLOWING IS A MESSAGE FOR MY WIFE*:

Hey there,

My beeper died and I left my cell at the office, so I guess you probably know what this means since it’s Thursday and everything.

I’ll see you Saturday at Sam’s game!

Sorry I had to post this on the site, my email is being weird too!

Oh well. Love you!

Your Husband,

Marc (with a c) Kaye

* (Sometimes my beeper just goes on the fritz, Pam’s used to it, but I want to let her know where I am and when she’ll see me again.  She’s my wife, y’know?)

The Living Teeth

A poem by Dr. Mark Zeidman

When I think about teeth
I think they could be like people.

Can they dance?
No, but they can wiggle.
Are they sad?
Only when they have a cavity!

Do they miss the baby teeth?
Probably.
Do they like each other?
Molars stick together.

Why are they so they dumb?
Because the wisdom teeth are removed.
Why are they so bright?
Because they are white!